I was talking to Lea last night. It has been a few days and she told me she was still stressed. I had to ask her why and I offered her my ears.

"The stress at work, I can still handle", she says, "but Max, I'm still hurting". She proceeded to tell me about the guy she likes a lot and how he left her hanging. She said she wanted to move on, but still can't, as she needed closure.

We have talked a lot about this guy before. She always talks about him. Imagine how I feel when she does that. She knows that I have feelings for her, but I told her it's okay to tell me as I was also her friend and confidant. Call me a martyr. I know I am when it comes to her.

I love her.

She asked rhetorically at some point why she could not have just fallen for me instead of some other guy. That's because no one chooses who he or she will fall for. Love is very complicated but is also very simple. It is a happy feeling but it is also a source of so much sadness. Love is filled with many contradictions. But it's also just one concept.

She asked me, "Do you love me?" and I said, "I do".

Lea...

Do you know how much I want you? I'm sure you have an idea, but you're not even close. Two and a half years I've known you. When you were so close, I couldn't take action. I held your hand, I gave you hugs. We talked. Incessantly. You sang to me once.. I held your body close to me on the dance floor. You have been in my mind for a long time. You've haunted me even when I was engaged. I thought I was over you, I guess I was wrong. I couldn't bring myself to ignoring you completely and just moving on with my life. There was silence between us for a long time. You only called me when you needed me. I only sought you when I needed you. Sometimes we did get together for lunch or dinner, or just a cup of coffee and chat. We've also had misunderstandings. We've argued, and we have forgiven each other. We're friends. And you've told me that's all you can give now. You've fallen for other guys, and I have had my share of relationships. But you're still here... in my heart. So tell me Lea....

Lea (by Toto)

Heres to the few who fared - my love
Only for you - I cared - my love
Ive given it hope, and I know its only you
Encased in silence

Heres to the you - who saved - my love
Only to you - I gave - my love
Ive given it thought, and its not all that appears

Lea, how long will you still want me to want you
In and around you
Lea, my concertina
Will you still want me to want you

Heres to the you - who dared - my love
Only with you - I shared - my love
Ive given it thought, and its not all that appears

Lea, how long will you still want me to want you
In and around you
Lea, my concertina
Will you still want me to want you

Who cares - what the cynics say
I care - if only youre on your way
Lea - dont let the same be true
Lea - do you still want me to want you